Fictional detectives with happy families

One reason I love certain crime fiction is  because the hero is in a stable/happy family.   I get to enjoy not only the exciting and adrenalin pumping part of the book but also vicariously experience the quiet happiness of the detective returning daily to the  love, trust & warmth of his family.

Many crime fiction  these days both on screen and in books show the hero's family life as messed up ...be it his/her parents or his own family. The hero's personal life too is  messed up with affairs, divorces, drinking and God knows what else. I  do understand that the fictional hero's life is filled with misery because  misery is a 'bestseller' while  happiness is 'too boring to read about' and happiness simply doesn't sell!
Perhaps modern writers believe that Dystopian is 'fashionable' or 'misery & evil are stylish'???

Still, some of my favorite authors have created stable families for their heros and yet, their books are both enjoyable and bestsellers!
(a)Working in the field that I do i.e.mental health,(b)having parents who quarreled bitterly all the time (c)seeing more unhappy and dysfunctional families than the opposite, I find it such a relaxing pleasure to see a 'normal' family in fiction...be it in books or on the screen. 
The book I finished today, (Feb 28th 2016) i.e. Lieberman's Law  inspired me to write this piece in which I have compiled all the books I have read where the  detectives have stable families.  Reading the description of  family life of the detectives in the books gave me quiet pleasure!

 I felt truly satisfied reading the book Lieberman's law and  one main reason for this satisfaction is the family life of Lieberman. He does have his share of family problems...though a lot lesser than the other fictional detectives or even most real people. The family part of the book rings true, the crime solving  is satisfying and  the end of this book was  like the conclusion of  a delicious meal!



The delightful and enjoyable crime fiction with normal/stable/happy families  are given below. By normal, I mean that these families are not 'too' dysfunctional; they are families with strong bonds and values.

The  books in this Lieberman series

• Abe Lieberman series

1. Lieberman's Folly (1990)
2. Lieberman's Choice (1993)
3. Lieberman's Day (1994)
4. Lieberman's Thief (1995)
5. Lieberman's Law (1996)
6. The Big Silence (2000)
7. Not Quite Kosher (2002)
8. The Last Dark Place (2004)
9. Terror Town (2006)
10. The Dead Don't Lie (2007)

• The series below is also by the same author Kaminsky. It is set in the USSR/Russia. I loved all the families mentioned  in this series.
• Inspector Rostnikov series

1. Rostnikov's Corpse (1981)
   (also published as Death of a Dissident)
2. Black Knight in Red Square (1983)
3. Red Chameleon (1985)
4. A Fine Red Rain (1987)
5. A Cold Red Sunrise (1988)
6. The Man Who Walked Like a Bear (1990)
7. Rostnikov's Vacation (1991)
8. Death of a Russian Priest (1992)
9. Hard Currency (1995)
10. Blood and Rubles (1996)
11. Tarnished Icons (1997)
12. The Dog Who Bit a Policeman (1998)
13. Fall of a Cosmonaut (2000)
14. Murder on the Trans-Siberian Express (2001)
15. People Who Walk in Darkness (2008)
16. A Whisper to the Living (2010

I adored the humorous Archy Mcnally  and loved reading about his family and his girl friend in the series by Lawrence Sanders.

• McNally's Secret (1992)
• McNally's Luck (1992)
• McNally's Risk (1993)
• McNally's Caper (1994)
• McNally's Trial (1995)
• McNally's Puzzle (1996)
• McNally's Gamble (1997)
• McNally's Dilemma (1999)

This series was continued by another author after Lawrence Sanders death, i.e. Vincent Lardo but I dint read as I dint like his style of writing. Vincent lardo's books are not listed here.

 I liked another series by Lawrence Sanders i.e. the Delaney series based in New York city listed below.

Edward X. Delaney series: The Anderson Tapes 1970 The First Deadly Sin 1973 The Second Deadly Sin 1977 The Third Deadly Sin 1981 The Fourth Deadly Sin 1985

 Vish Puri a private detective in Delhi, created by Tarquin Hall  too has a nice family and is fun to read. But I dint find the books unputdownable. I enjoyed reading about Vish Puri's feisty mother who kept trying to butt into is private detective business!

The Vish Puri books are :

 The Case of the Missing Servant 2009
The Case of the Man Who Died Laughing,  2010.     
The Case of the Deadly Butter Chicken,  2012. 
 The Case of the Love Commandos,  2013

There were 4 books by James Hadley Chase where I loved a couple who featured to different extents in the books. The books are:
The double shuffle
There's always a price tag
An ear to the ground
Tell it to the birds
Of all , I really enjoyed Steve Harmas and his wife in Double shuffle. It was  exciting and I loved this couple's relationship! 

I also enjoyed the fiery wife of Tom Lepski another police officer created by James Hadley Chase in another series of books.

A lot of books by Alistair Maclean had normal happy families and that really increased my enjoyment of the book. I would like to add here that family was not the main part of the Maclean books; yet, I enjoyed even the brief mention of  family members & family life of the protagonists. Some of which I can recall are:
Force ten from Navarone (there is not much family stuff, only a very brief mention of Andrea's new wife). 
Ice station zebra(brothers)
The Satan bug
Circus
Seawitch

I am not asking crime fiction writers to create  'happy' families but to create at least, reasonably down-to-earth, realistic families. For example, I enjoy reading the family life of Kurt Wallander (series) by Henning Mankell though his is not an 'ideal' or a 'happy' family.

 I wonder why the new crime fiction writers don't emulate the 'stable families' which feature in books of of the old writers'?
I don't know if I am the only one who thinks this, but since the last 2 decades writers seemed to think that their books will sell only if the crime is extremely bizarre, or cruel, or twisted. I am sick of the pedophilia, the bizarre mental illnesses of the criminals, the needless torture of the victims in the recent books. 
 Perry Mason books written from 1930 to 1970s sold in the millions though the plots were straightforward and the villains were not unnecessarily complex like the present day ones! I wish  the writers would go back to writing more believable crimes instead of the convoluted stuff they come up with at present.

Writers from the east (India, for example)seem to write fairly straightforward crime fiction; I don't know if it's because they lack the ability to be complex like the American and European writers or it's their choice. For my limited attention span & processing ability, I prefer a simple, straightforward crime, which moves along fast!


A lot of American crime fiction especially on screen, display the main protagonist's entangled sexual and romantic relationships with multiple partners. They also show several weaknesses or vices of not just the 'bad' guys but of the 'good' guys too. Though its attention-grabbing and thrilling, the immorality/moral ambiguity of all the characters is now putting me off! I am referring to shows such as House of lies, House of cards, True detective season 2, etc.
 I am either aging or mellowing down but I now seek simpler stuff with clarity regarding morals...I want  as much black & white and as little grey as possible!

A lot of classics I have read are simple and not as morally ambiguous as current day crime fiction. Maybe that is one of the reasons why classics are eternal. I believe there are a lot of people like me, who want poetic justice, want good guys to win and bad guys to lose, want something good they can believe in...like a strong supportive family, loving spouses, reliable parents and so on. These things add to the 'feel good' quality of a book which in turn has a tremendous positive influence on the reader's mood. Ultimately it is the mood the reader is left with, after reading a book, which determines if the reader will try the same author again. 

Let me add here that on some days when I am in some 'odd' moods, I prefer the morbid, the sad and maybe even dystopian fiction(like Child 44). But mostly, I prefer my crime fiction with less morbidity, more action and some humour.

Here is a link to others like me, who wonder why fictional detectives are so miserable!
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/1522709-dark-dysfunctional-detectives

Mysteries & Crime Thrillers discussion

General > Dark, dysfunctional detectives

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Of the happy families on TV, I adore The Republic of Doyle series.  If you are interested in seeing this, go to CBC TV and check this out. It has 6 seasons and about 10 episodes in each season. It is an amazingly feel-good series. If you want dystopian stuff, this series is not for you.

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In 2018, I discovered the term 'cozy mysteries' and realize that that is the right term to describe what I feel when I read these books or see the show mentioned above.
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Infidelity to me is still wrong and I am always uncomfortable when the 'hero' or chief protagonist/detective is 'sleeping around' when married or in a relationship. Infidelity however seems to be common in many books and shows now. The sexual mores have changed SO MUCH now but I am stuck in a previously accepted state of morality! It is difficult to find a crime fiction book written these days with the 'olden mores' around the sex issue. In my opinion, the only books with the olden sexual mores for the chief protagonist seem to be books which are written by eastern writers, by women or those crime fiction  with simpler plots. 

FORGET THE PATHOLOGY OF INDIA! HERE IS SOMETHING GOOD FROM INDIA...IT'S RANGOLI

I am exhausted with the anger and hate I experience each time I think of India! Before my wells of anger fills up again, I am writing about something I liked in my childhood...Rangoli.
You can read up about Rangoli by googling it and get to know Rangoli...if you don't know about it already. Here is MY own personal take on Rangoli. 


To me, the most fascinating thing about Rangoli is that illiterate women from villages, maid servants with limited or no education are such experts at Rangoli designs! I find the Rangoli designs  elaborate and fascinating.  To me, they seem so difficult to make and I marvel that these women, who have not gone to schools, who cannot read or write, can make these designs in a matter of few 3 to 5 minutes.

I do know that the Rangoli is an art passed on from one generation to another like  other things in a society's culture such as recipes, embroidery, proverbs, folk songs, etc. I do know these women  have learnt these designs since childhood from their mothers and grandmothers; I do know that practice makes one perfect; that one can learn these designs if one is interested.  

Many things about the Rangoli saddens and intrigues me. 

I feel sad that these women, who are so skilled in making Rangolis remain under-appreciated ill paid workers who can just about feed themselves with the money they earn. Few employers ever praise the Rangoli designs made daily on the door-steps by the servants. Some employers may not even notice the designs and simply take it for granted. A few servants spontaneously make  elaborate Rangoli designs on festivals and may or may not hear a word of praise from the household they work for.

This is a skill that many of the employers of servants don't possess. Yet, they refuse to acknowledge their maid who does this design daily on their doorstep. What does it cost you to say a word of praise for the art-work done? Don't these employers realize that thanking and praising costs nothing yet makes the maid feel happy and boost her self-esteem?

This is an art which has evolved from it's humble beginnings. Previously it was done with dry powder on the front door step every morning after the front yard was  swept and washed with water. Now you have books with Rangoli designs published;
 There are Rangoli competitions in many cities...However, I have not seen  maid servants participating in these competitions. These competitions  seem to be middle-class affairs where the educated middle-class and the upper class women participate. I doubt if the maids can afford the time and the cost of participating in the competitions. 

I am sad that people have stopped decorating the area at the front door with Rangoli these days in many households for various reasons. Apartment buildings are the new type of residences in Indian cities these days  and so there is no concept of washing the front yard. Also, many have given up old traditions like Rangoli decoration as they are 'modern'. The Rangoli powder is difficult to come by these days...shortage of natural non-renewable resources is the cause maybe?  Evolving of the Rangoli art lead to applying 'permanent' paints in Rangoli designs at the doorstep and so the daily art work of Rangoli with powder stopped. One can even buy Rangoli-design-painted strips of plastic which can be stuck in the places where Rangoli art is needed!  Seives with Rangoli patterns have been created and all one has to do is put the Rangoli powder on the seive, and give a gentle shake and the powder falls through in the form of the design !  Now, you don't need someone to take the Rangoli powder between their thumb & index fingers, put  'dots' of Rangoli powder and connect the dots with the Rangoli powder to create the designs anymore.

One last thing. A professor of neuropsychology had proposed Rangoli design drawing as a remediation task to improve certain neuropsychological deficits in  patients with neuropsychiatric problems. To do the Rangoli design, certain part of the brain is involved and this part could be stimulated and improved by creating or practicing Rangoli designs. I am not sure if she ever got to do this or published the research but this shows how the humble Rangoli art work can kick some ass! 

My question to Amazon.com and amazon.in

I tried to buy toys on amazon.com and requested that it be mailed to India. But I got the message, "Sorry. Cannot be shipped to this address".

I then tried to buy the same product on amazon.in. But my credit card was declined.

I hope I will be able to shop in amazon.in and my Canadain credit card is accepted or I hope the amazon.com will ship to India.

I feel sorry that I am unable to send Indian  children these amazing toys(Meccano sets) not found ANYWHERE in Bangalore.

I can afford them, I have the willingness to buy them, but this unfortunate glitch prevents my dear friends from having these toys. In Toronto, I cannot find people visiting India so that I could send the toys through them.
In USA, it's easy to find, almost all through the year, friends who visit Bangalore, and I could ask them to deliver these toys.
Buying the toys in Toronto and shipping to India is terribly expensive! It's a pity that Canada post is so expensive.
I cannot afford to travel to India as often as I want to...or I could take these toys there myself.

CULTURAL PATHOLOGY OF INDIA-13-ACCEPTANCE OF ABNORMAL AS NORMAL

When one looks around in many eastern societies, so many pathological behaviors are not recognized  as pathological. Some of these pathologies are even glorified as Good or benevolent behaviours! Here are some people with pathological behaviors (I could recall meeting in India.)These people went  unrecognized as pathological in the best-case-scenario and were glorified as 'good or great' in the worst-case-scenario. 

(1) ADHD in children: I have seen parents of ADHD kids who are initially, extremely proud of their kids as they equate the hyperactivity with intelligence ; One family I know thought of their hyperactive son as an incarnation of Krishna and even named him as Krishna because they were so happy with his hyperactive behaviour! He was an adult before they decided to seek psychiatric help and even then, it was hard to make them accept that he has ADHD and that he needed treatment. They could not get the belief of him as extraordinarily bright, active and 'Krishna-like' individual out of their heads!  The positive view of his ADHD probably did good to his self-esteem but the family went through a tough time when his behaviours got worse as he entered adulthood and their belief that he is an incarnation of Krishna was severely tested.

(2)Another example is that many men with poor social skills or shyness,  or men who do not interact with women are regarded as 'very decent' and 'good' while someone who interacts easily may be suspect! Even to this day, guys who dont talk to women , in small towns and villages are considered as saints while men who talk to girls easily and comfortably are suspected of being flirts or as having evil designs on girls.

(3) Several psychiatric problems go unrecognized and ergo, untreated in India. 
Asperger's and those at the mild end of the autism spectrum go undiagnosed often in Indian culture; 
many cases of mild depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive neurosis, several types of seizures, many personality disorders, borderline intelligence, are neither recognized or treated. The odd behaviours are accepted, tolerated, maybe even considered as more  'positive'  than 'normal' behaviours by Indians! 
Many personality disorders are unrecognized and therefore untreated in India. This happens even amongst the educated folks.  

(4) Chronic alcoholism and gambling are not recognized and treated as mental illness in India even among the educated and those with access to information. 

(5)Homosexuality is regarded as abnormal and unacceptable and I have seen at least 5-10 homosexuals (mostly men) dragged to a psychiatrist by their parents to 'make them heterosexual' because his marriage has been fixed !  I have been told, things like "He has to become normal by November doctor. His wedding is in November!"  This is an instance where what is normal is considered as abnormal in India. I think I should write an article of all the normal things considered as abnormal in India! There are tons of such stuff too!
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Now  I am going to talk briefly  about corruption in India and it's acceptance as the 'norm' by the vast majority... rather than considering it as abnormal, obnoxious and something to be dealt with. .
This acceptance of the wrong  as 'normal' in India drives me insane! Now that I have lived in Canada for the last 12 years, I have lost my 'immunity' to Indian corruption and find my visits to India intolerable. I had managed to live with it for the first 30 odd years of my life and now I have lost my capacity to tolerate and accept corruption and find myself unable to spend in peace, even a few days in India!


That you have to pay a bribe to get any work in the government offices done is considered NORMAL. If you find that a government employee is not accepting a bribe, or not asking for it, you wonder and start suspecting if there is something else 'worse' going on which you don't know of!
That you have to bribe the police to make them accept a complaint is normal.
A person  belonging to certain unfortunate castes being ill-treated is the norm and if he's  treated with  a little bit of respect, in the villages of some Indian states, he will die of fright and shock!
People taking their pet dogs out for a walk and leaving it's poop out in the street is the norm. If someone bags it and brings it home, he may be considered crazy! But I think this is changing now  in some cities, but I am not sure.
This list can go on for hundreds of pages. But I am stopping here.


There is a wide gap between Indian values and the values upheld in western, democratic and modern societies.
There is a wide gap between what is in the constitution and the professed rules in India and the actual practice.
In India, there is absolutely no correlation between education and good behaviour, good manners;
 No correlation in India between education and wisdom;
No correlation between education and common sense
no correlation between education and being practical.
In fact, I sometimes wonder if the Indian education system, makes up lose what little we were born with!

Cultural Pathology in India-11-BOYS DRESSED AS GIRLS AND SEX CHANGE SURGERY FOR GETTING JOB

I came across a few unusual  cases but as they are just one of a kind, I do not want to put them under cultural pathology. But they are definitely influenced/caused by the culture surrounding them.




Here are 2 which I recall.
One male, with 10th standard level of education was referred to psychiatry for assessment by surgeons of another hospital. He had approached that hospital asking for a sex change surgery and he had been referred to psychiatry to rule out psychiatric issues before they did surgery. I am not sure if the doctors would have gone ahead with the surgery if he had gone back to them. While interviewing this guy  about the reasons  for a sex change, he said he was the son of a farmer, he wanted employment in the police force and if he was a female he had better chances of getting the job as he had the required 'height' and had passed 10th standard! He had two criteria to get the job; now all he needed to do was be a female(because some quota of jobs are reserved for females; the females quota of jobs remain unfilled at times due to few women applying)
I explained to him that the sex change operation was not simple or something he could be done with in a day or a week, that there was a lot of cost involved even if the surgery was free (hormone treatments), that there was no guarantee that he will get the police constable's job if he had the surgery, that he will have to explain to his parents, that he will have to face his village folk, etc.
 He had not thought this whole thing through and had just impulsively hopped on a bus and come to Bangalore, gone to a hospital and landed with us! He left us and did not come again. I hope he has reached his village safely and got a job or is working on his parents farm.
Why do I link this to culture or the society around him? I am not sure if I am right but I think  that: (1) if getting a job for a villager in India was not so difficult,(2) if he had a better quality education,(3) if he had sensible people around him with whom he could have discussed this idea of his, he would not have ended coming to Bangalore for a sex change operation.

The second case is of one where a rural boy had been dressed as a girl by his family since childhood and he also sat in the girls side of the class. Around 7th standard, his family seemed to wake up and wanted him to start acting as a boy and dress like a boy but the boy refused. A similar case which again presented in the department of psychiatry was of a girl who had been dressed as a boy all her life and the parents wanted her to go back to being a girl when she was around 9th grade. What amazed me was that the kids got away in school. I always wondered how they got away while using the toilets in the school? I wondered about the relatives and neighbours who in the early days at least, would know the gender of the child and how could they ALL forget the gender of these kids over time?
In both cases, the parents had no satisfactory answers as to why they brought up the kids as the opposite gender.  I do know of many girls brought up as boys in Afghanistan so as to get education, go out in the city and work, go out to simply shop for vegetables. But these 2 kids were brought up as if they were the  opposite gender, studied alongside the opposite gender kids (a girl sitting with boys in class or a boy sitting with girls  is a very big deal in Indian villages) and were suddenly expected to change gender and behave and dress differently when the parents realized that 'the time had passed' and it was time for them to revert to their right gender. I do not know of what happened to these 2 cases too. Often, many villagers make one or two trips to the city hospitals and cannot afford to come for psychiatric treatment to the city regularly.


Dressing as the opposite gender is something I have seen often in India. I think there are many reasons why we Indians do that but none of the reasons seem very strong. Parents want to see how their baby boy looks in a frock, they dress him in that. and take a few photoes for posterity! They  dress a boy as Krishna and that involves a lot of girlie things like silk clothes, eye-liner, rouge on cheeks, Lip stick, peacock feather in hair, gold jewels for arms, waist, etc. And some parents address a beloved daughter as if she is a son and this continues all through their life. But I have seen this often, with no serious psychological or other consequences.

Cultural Pathology in India-10- NORMAL BEHAVIOIURS ALTERED UNDER DURESS

A few other pathologies I have observed which seem to be unique to India and these are pathologies which are sub-clinical and not enough to warrant a diagnosis are:



I always believe that where there is no freedom and where people are repressed, threathened and bullied,  they show unnatural behaviours. The behaviours are not natural to the situation and often people do not even realize what is happening. In majority of the people's lives, there is fear and lack of freedom. So majority of people show unnatural behaviours in many situations.
The harsh punishment of teachers in schools scars many children for life and they show unnatural behaviours all through thier lives.
The punitive methods used by many parents especially in the lower strata of society makes many children behave unnaturally. Exposure to harsh realities of life from childhood itself such as hunger, physical,verbal and at times sexual abuse make many children react unnaturally.
The bullying nature of bosses, the hierarchy, the nepotism, gender inequality, discrimination based on caste, etc at work places make people cope by reacting unnaturally.
Why do I say "react unnaturally"? to all the above situations. It is becaue to react naturally in those situations is to expresss anger, dislike and to escape or to change the situation. However, as most children and people are neither able to escape or change the situations, they end up by coping with it in unnatural ways. This is the pathology. For example, The child fearing but continuing to respect and obey the punitive/bullying teacher is a kind of pathological behaviour but it helps the child cope and survive. This can go on for so long that the child, now an adult, does not even realize that it is wrong or pathological to respect and obey a bullying person. As an adult, the person does  not even recognize abuse as he is so used to it from childhood and thinks of abuse as "something good and necessary" and may himself become abusive .....and perceive it as "I may be harsh but it is for the child's good".

Cultural Pathology in India-9-NONCONSUMATION OF MARRIAGE

NOT A CULTURAL PATHOLOGY EXACTLY.....

Cases of Nonconsummation of marriage was another unique phenomenon I came across in Indian society through the psychiatry department clients. On taking the case history and detailed interviews, I realized that

most of the marriages were arranged by the parents of the man and woman, there had been little or no courtship or interaction or even communication during the period they knew each other before the marriage.

Causes for non-consummation: Often the man or woman, were not interested in the marriage but were forced to marry by the parents.

In more than one case the man was gay and had not revealed to his parents or wife and the homosexuality was disclosed only when the medical team interviewed him at length.

In some cases, one of the spouses already had a lover, but had neither told the parents nor tried strongly enough to resist marriage to this person. After marriage, the other spouse was left wondering why, the partner refused to have sex.

There was one case of impotence, one case of schizophrenia (parents had not disclosed that he was mentally ill either to the bride or her parents) and one case of severe alcohol dependence for non-consummation of marriages.

It was very sad for me to see the lives of these young men and especially women, affected by this web of lies and deceit which could have been avoided, if the spouse/his family was upfront before the wedding and prevented teh wedding from ever taking place!

I do not know if any of the cases I saw went through divorce or  got counseling or got some sort of help. The person with schizophrenia did get help but the others did not return after a few sessions.

In India, with arranged marriages still prevalent, I do not know how many other types of problems are lurking.

Cultural Pathology in India-8-FEMALE FETICIDE

CULTURAL PATHOLOGY EIGHT: ABORTION OF FEMALE FETUS AND POSSIBLE KILLING OF FEMALE NEWBORN BABIES:

Abortion of female children is not unique to India. It is a practice prevalent in many countries in the east, in patriarchal societies, in societies where parents consider sons as blessings and assets and daughters as liabilities or a burden. The extent to which female fetus are aborted in India is so vast that the current male-female ratio is many parts of India is skewed. Instead of 50-50 or the 51 females to 50 males, typical of many developed countries, it is 933 females to 1000 males. I naively believed that education will lead to a healthier sex ratio and this is not so. People with education also abort female fetus; I naively believed that people of higher socio-economic status will not abort females as they don't have any 'financial problems' . But a study in Bombay, showed that the number of females born in 'affluent' areas of Bombay wee lesser than those born in less affluent areas of Bombay. Abortions are legal in India. However aborting a fetus because of it's gender i.e. because  it's a female is not legal. Yet, millions of fetus are aborted in India every year! What does this say about Indian society? About our morals and ethics and decency? You have these middle-class and upper class people, who visit the scanning centre and pay to know if the fetus is a female or male. Then they decide to abort it as it's a female. Become pregnant again and check again and abort again if it's another female. Continue this until a male is born! They don't experience guilt, significant enough to stop them from aborting. They overcome their guilt, if any, through many rationalizations to themselves. Of course, they keep this abortion a secret and don't discuss it openly. They don't want any criticism of their act! The people aborting are often  educated, know that it is both wrong and illegal, and are females themselves! I have seen a gynecologist abort her own female fetus until she had a son. I have seen lecturers who 'preach' to students about psychology, sociology, etc abort their fetus. The pathology  leading to abortion is multi-dimensional and too much to discuss at length here. I will mention a few here, without going into depth.

(a)double standards...preaching equality of genders but practicing abortion of female fetus.

(b) believing they are 'decent', morally upright', 'educated', people and don't even seem to realize they are murdering a helpless fetus, their own daughter or granddaughter or niece or whatever who is innocent, helpless. (many women abort because they are pressured into aborting by their husbands, in-laws, their own parents, etc)

(c). Their need to show off that they have a 'son' and their shame about 'not having a son'...they consider having a son as an achievement to be proud of! They don't seem to realize it is just 'chance' and 'nature' that it happens to be a boy. Their sense of shame, anger, and frustration when they have a daughter...though the girl who is born has done no crime!

(d)All of these unwashed ass-holes want a good-looking, hard-working, obedient, educated daughter-in-law for their son; but don't want a daughter !

(e)The people running the 'scanning centres' don't feel guilty and think they are 'doing a favour to society'; The doctors aborting countless female fetus don't have any compunction doing what they do. To hell with the Hippocratic oath! They are here to make money! There is so much money in abortions  in some parts of India, that doctors compete to do their masters in  courses related to this field. The police turn a blind eye or take bribes and let these things continue.

(f)What I hate the most is the need these people have to project an IDEAL FAMILY PICTURE to the world..."We are a happy family; My husband is an engineer and we have one son and one daughter. we have a house and car" . Or "we are a happy family; we have two sons". I HATE THE LIES OF THESE PEOPLE; They don't admit that their happy family is because they aborted 3 female fetus and kept trying for a son; they don't admit that the car the family has is the dowry given by the woman's dad; that he is an engineer because his dad paid donation as he did not get good enough marks to get an engineering seat. That he got the job of engineer as his dad and father-in-law bribed to buy his job"

It is the utter callousness of the abortions, and the hiding and lying about the abortions that bothers me the most about this Indian culture's pathology of female feticide.

Cultural Pathology in India-7-BLIND LOVE

CULTURAL PATHOLOGY SEVEN:
Blind love is another phenomenon but this is of course not unique to India! I have seen this both in  people with and without psychiatric diagnosis . I have seen it in friends and relatives. To me blind love is where a person is having so much love and affection for a person that  it blinds them to the loved one’s defects.

I have given one example of blind love here; one psychiatric patient killed a person and  reached his  home late that night. He confessed to his mother that he has just killed a person and do you know what his mother's response was? His mother told him,” what is done is done and cannot be undone. Eat your dinner. You are late and you must be very hungry”.  She was more worried about her son's hunger  than about the murder he had committed!

There are many such people, who love so blindly that they simply fail to see even the most severe faults in their loved ones. Mothers blind love and forgiving nature towards their ‘oldest child’, ‘youngest child’, ‘only son’, ‘only daughter’ , ‘grand-child’, is bizarre, moving and sickening all at the same time!
 I know an old lady, whose son borrowed money and failed to return and the mother accused the moneylender! The lender had actually lent the money out of compassion but this mother accused him of loaning money to her son for the selfish reason of charging interest! She did not acknowledge the fact that her son did not even bother to return the money or pay interest or even call the money lender to apologize.
The extent to which blind love, twists people’s logic is simply amazing. I know of another mother who was treated very harshly by her adult son.... Instead of feeling anger against her son, she  blamed the maid-servant  in the house for putting black magic on her son and turning him against her!  The human mind has an infinite capacity to be deluded!There are millions of cases such as this but again, they are not really mentally ill according to any criteria. But to the eyes of an objective outsider, the delusions appear highly pathological!
Twisted perception such as the ones mentioned above is another common pathology one sees in India. Indians (or is it the entire world?) interpret informaton in ways to suit their beliefs, they twist reality and make explainations to suit their perceptions. The reason I keep harping on India and Indians is that I have lived in Canada for 8 years and I do not see the extent of delusions, lack of logical thinking, and denial and twisted perception among the Canadians...whatever their level of education, age or background is. They seem to be more grounded and realistic than Indians are. This makes me wonder if we Indians are somehow more delusional and pathological than the rest of the world. One good reason I can think of for this could be that: The stress caused by living in India is much higher than living in Canada. Therefore we all become a bit mad, in order to survive living in India. If we were completley sane and not delusional, then living in India would become hell! (No defense mechanisms to survive the ugly truths we face in India means ouor ego will collapse in no time!)
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As society evolves,  people evolve too and adapt to the change. It is possible that the pathologies are not new but have been influenced by the culture and transformed into new maladaptive behaviours. For example the addiction may have changed over time but  addicts have existed at all points in time. It may have been alcohol addiction in the last century and drug addiction today.


There is an ongoing Metamorphosis of culture, society& behaviour and therefore metamorphosis of  pathology too.  I wonder  if a day will come when society has evolved in a healthy direction and  to such an extent   that there will be very little need for pathological behaviours.
One example of society evolving and decrease in pathological behaviour I have observed is that in my family (about 100 including all uncles, aunts, grand parents, cousins, their spouses, siblings, their spouses, etc)there seems to be lesser of blaming parents as autonomy in choice of partner has increased in the recent generations. My grand parents generation had no choice in selection of their own spouse, parents generation had no choice too; but in my generation, those who married 30 years ago had no choice but those marrying now select their own spouses....the marital harmony, respect for women, economic equality between genders, 'about' equal levels of  education between the genders and also greater levels of education than pervious generations, etc seems greater in the newer marriages than the older ones.
Another example I can give about evolving leading to decreased pathology is  the lower prevalence of mental illness and greater mental health in healthier societies today such as the Scandinavian countries.

Cultural Pathology in India-6-CHILDREN'S DEPENDENCE AND DEMANDS ON PARENTS

CULTURAL PATHOLOGY SIX:
Children’s expectations from their parents: One slightly bizarre behaviour I saw in a few cases was the demands made by children on their parents in some upper and middle-class families.
Two were women :one in her late 30s and one in her late 40s ; both were furious with their fathers for not getting them married. As you know it is mostly arranged marriages in India and Indian girls expect their parents to find suitable grooms for them. These 2 women during their 20s had rejected many ‘suitable’ proposals when their dad brought them giving various reasons such as he is not good looking, he is not in a good job, he is not earning enough, I don’t like his house, etc. Now in their 30s and 40s, they are accusing their aged parents, of ruining their lives. Both women are unemployed, have gradually withdrawn and refuse to visit other families and friends, do not participate in house work and are looked after by their aging parents. It is difficult to make any diagnosis as they do not fulfil any criteria except maybe psychosis nos or depression nos. At the beginning i.e. when this behaviour starts, they do not fit any diagnostic criteria but after several years of the same behaviour and increase in withdrawal, they seem to fit criteria for a illness at some point in time. The lapse into illness is 'seamless' and slow.

Unfortunately I have seen many similar cases amongst relatives, friends and neighbours. I really blame the Indian culture for these expectations  children have of their parents.
It is a combination of reasons such as
(a) the youth not allowed to find their own spouses i.e. lack of autonomy over one's life and parental interference,
(b) the youth not allowed to mix freely with the opposite sex(this has changed now, at least in the cities, thank God),
(c) lack of economic independence (mostly in women than men)when one does not work.
 I have also seen cases of severe marital conflict and where the married person continues to blame the parents (for  several decades after marriage),  for not finding a suitable partner. The parents bear it silently with a sense of guilt. This would not happen if one could have autonomy over selection of one's partner. Many of the people continue to be married to the person who was 'selected by parents' and neither divorce or try to get along or seek counselling. They spend lives in bitterness.
One major reason for this seems to be that many Indians do not take responsibility but blame others or external forces for their miseries. To this day, a common tale of woe you hear in many Indian households is of a father or mother telling the kids   " I did not want to marry your father/mother. I was forced to by your grandfather and now my life is ruined". These accusations continue to be thrown for ages and never seem to stop!

Another type of unrealistic expectations I witnessed was kids demanding their parents to shell out huge sums of money (“take a loan if you do not have the money; Get me the money somehow”!) for their education. One case I quote here was a girl of 18 who got average marks (and hence the marks are not good enough to enter medical college easily) and got into a medical college after her parents took a huge loan(fees/donation are high if your marks are poor). She then refused to go to the college as ‘she did not like it’ and demanded her parents take another loan and put her in another medical college! It was then her parents brought her in for counseling. This girl was simply unable to see reason and refused to budge saying that her parents have to take a loan and get her into another college and that she will clear their loan at a later date. She dropped out after coming reluctantly just once and I am not sure what happened to her. This is another case which looks so delusional and yet her bizarre behaviour is partly the result of her parents being indulgent for a long period of time....and being unable to put their foot down when she made these ludicrous demands.
 I have seen many adults make similar unrealistic demands on  their hapless parents and throw tantrums (these are adults in their 30s and 40s…not little children). I have seen some guys asking their parent to get them a beautiful bride and their parents move heaven and earth, trying to find someone not only beautiful but also willing to marry their son! What puzzles me is the utter coolness with which these demands are made, the inability to see how wrong their demands are, and the parents inability to draw the line.

All these behaviours do not add up to a personality disorder in most cases. They definitley do not add up to be schizophrenia, depression, mania or any type of psychosis. These are behaviours which have reached this point due to a variety of cultural factors such as over-indulgence by parents , partiality to male children, parents jumping through hoops for thier kids instead of setting limits...believing that if they give everything to thier kids, they will make thier kids happy and successful or that their kids will love them or look after them in their old age.

The shocking anti-social  behaviours displayed by the sons of the very rich in India such as sons of politicians is another example of cultural pathology. These boys get away with murder!...Yes. They can literally kill one or more human beings and get away with it. Reading the Indian newspapers will give you many examples. These kids do not display such  pathological behaviour because of  mental illnesses ...they become like that due to cultural factors such as over-indulgent parents and sycophants surrounding their families; deviant parent role models, not being punished when they do wrong as children, etc. The fact that their parents use their power to twist the law to get their kids out of trouble only encourages them more.

There is also the unnatural expectations parents have from their adult children (such as complete obedience without exercising personal choice or independent thinking) but I am not going to dwell on it much. You would have seen it in the million Hindi movies released every year.

Cultural Pathology in India-5-DOWRY

CULTURAL PATHOLOGY FIVE:

Apart from the examples mentioned above of people who show odd behaviours and do not fit into any diagnositc category, there are also people in India who fit into psychiatric diagnostic categories but who do not have any label attached to them and who are doing well. These are the Asperger's syndrome people, alcoholics,people with other forms of substance abuse, some people with borderline or mild developmental delay, people with a definite psychiatric diagnosis but who do not ask for asessment and treatment, etc.
 These people live in society and are never brought for treatment...this happens as they not only lack insight but as the people  around them are lacking the guts to suggest they get treatment or report them to the proper authorities.

A few of the several cultural and economic factors causing pathological behaviours in people of India:
Demanding Dowry: Not only do people take dowry, but they pretend they don't; It is the pretence which is more nauseating than the asking or taking dowry itself.
Bullying of new students by old students leading to the victims attempting/completing suicide, giving up the educational course and returning home, suffering from depression and anxiety, etc.
Farmers suicides due to a range of interrelated factors
Murders of wives by alcoholic men: These men are so brain damaged by heavy drinking and suffer from alcoholic jealousy and paranoid illnesses. But the newspaper articles reporting of incidents of these men killing their wives never mention the  psychiatric problems such as alcoholic jealousy, paranoia and brain damage  these men suffer from; this gives the impression, to the vast majority of readers that the wives were adulterous. Since I see at least one such death every week in one city's newspapers, you can imagine how many more are happening!
Exposure to Gender and Caste discrimination in India right from childhood, leads women and lower caste people to have a certain unhealthy self-concept and low self-esteem. This pathology of low self-esteem is common in majority of Indian women, low caste people and by many others who are neither low caste or women such as thpose who suffer from handicaps, and those who are different in some visible way;
people in India develop low self-esteem, for various faulty child-rearing patterns, harsh teachers and  stupid value system, period.
The few who do not develop this pathology and have healthy self-esteems are brutally treated by some who cannot tolerate this and verbally or physically assault them until they are cowed down. This is seen more in rural areas than urban and among the  folks who are less evolved. A low caste person demanding his rights is considered to be 'arrogant'; or  a girl who demands equal rights is subjected to such harassment until she backs down and accepts that she was wrong. I can go on and on about several such issues. But I think I have made my point that
 several aspects of Indian culture is pathological;
that many pathologies are acceptable and normal and highly valued in India and
many  normal and decent values are unacceptable to majority of people; that this will continue as long as the people who are right do not fight and resist; that this will continue as long as the oppressors who benefit from this pathology, fight to maintain the current sick culture.