Thursday, December 2, 2010

Value Systems in India

I have always wondered about the values system in India and praying for it to change.

There are so many unnatural values we adhere to, I am surprised that the people have not been more active in revolting against it.

There are many values in India I am against and I am sure a lot of people feel like me. You may ask, why I am doing nothing about it. I am doing nothing about it apart from talking and arguing with people. I find it simply too overwhelming to do anything more. I feel like a tiny ant trying to fight with the ocean……It seems impossible.

But I am at least going to write a little about it.

Once again, what I have written here is in no particular order but I am writing as things flash to me.

Suicide: Suicide is an act attempted by people who feel depressed, feel that there is no way out, feel hopeless and helpless. I believe like others, that one should not attempt suicide but instead seek help to resolve problems or seek help for depression. But instead, several movies glorify suicide and it is a resort chosen by several movie heroines ! I have also heard of a father telling his daughter, why she did not kill herself and that any self-respecting person who had failed in exams would have done it ! I have heard of people who scream at the family member who angers them to kill themselves as if suicide is a worthy option ! Suicide is valued as a respectable option to be adopted by a person in shameful circumstances….. a female who has been raped is supposed to opt for suicide. An abused wife who is thrown out of her husband’s house is supposed to die rather than seeking shelter at her father’s or getting a divorce or moving out.

Fortunately the situation is changing at least in the urban and educated classes. I have stopped seeing Indian movies but I hope it has changed there too.

Dowry: That giving and taking dowry is an offence and recognized as such by the government of India is well known. However like many many rules in India, it is only on paper. People who are unable to give dowry experience a sense of shame and the people who did not get dowry or ‘enough’ are affronted ! The value system is so perversely opposite of what it should be ! Once again, this perversity is glorified in Indian films…at least the movies I had seen about 6-8 years ago. You see the hero (Kannada movie) sweating his guts out to collect enough dowry demanded for his sister’s wedding and feeling bad if he fails to get the money ! What kind of a value system is the movie trying to propagate ?!?

I also hear people boasting that they were not offered any dowry but they still got married anyway…They are so proud of it……it is as if they have done a big favour to the girl by marrying her without dowry ! The wife of course is expected to feel grateful for his kind benevolence !

Obedience to parents: Indian parents with kids who toe the line are so smug and complancent about this unnatural level of obedience, I want to slap them hard! The parents proudly state that their son/daughter will not cross a line if they ask…and they are not talking of kids below ten years but of adults. A child, even if an adult is not allowed to have a mind of his own or her own but seek parents guidance, permission and approval for all decisions. An independent child is a disobedient child and therefore not a loving or good child ! Parents seeking to control their adult children quote ‘model’ children from Indian mythology and try to guilt their kids into complying.

the parents who fail in their attempts to interfere in their adult children’s decisions, change their tune and boast about how they are so ‘broad-minded’ and ‘modern’ that they let their children make decisions themselves ! The decisions can be major decisions like what course to do in college, person to marry, employment or even minor decisions such as hairstyles or clothes !

Unless the value system with regard to autonomy and independence for children comes about, we are going to have a nation full of spineless kids, forever dependent on their parents.

There is a lot more I wish to write. I will write again when the mood strikes me again. Ta Ta.

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