Thursday, June 29, 2017

Meandering thoughts which repeat over and over in my head

Meandering thoughts which repeat over and over in my head:


One obsessive thought with me (and probably billions of others is I think), is  “ How to have a world free of crime especially  cruelty and how to have a perfect world. Various ideas run though my head about this theme.


Causes of criminal behaviour: identify, eliminate and remove causes which foster the development of these behaviours or traits.


One way of going about this is to study children’s behaviour and development with close observation from the day they are born and identify at what point in their life, do they start showing undesirable behaviours such as cruelty, especially the type where a child seems to find it funny to see another child cry or enjoy teasing another child, knowing that the child is suffering. Identify when the child first starts lying, first starts being secretive…I know that being secretive is not wrong …what I mean is when traits such as slyness, lying, start showing up and developing. Study the factors which seem to be causing or helping the development of these behaviours or traits and see if these factors can be removed from the child’s environment.

I have observed the development of a few kids in my family and I have seen that initially the child (say from age 1 to 2 or 3years) seems to not realize that the other child is crying because it is hurt. The child is only interested in his/her needs i.e. the toy that the other child has and grabs it, oblivious to the other child’s crying. Later I have seen in some kids, hurting a child in anger such as when the other child snatches its toy away. Hurting the other child, especially a younger sibling out of jealousy especially when adults pay attention to the other child is another behaviour I have observed.

But one inexplicable behaviour I have observed is the child’s behaviour of making another child cry, for no apparent reason ….the only reason for making the child cry seems to be enjoyment i.e.   to laugh at the crying child. This is the behaviour I am talking of. What drives a child or adult to be cruel to another and remain indifferent to other’s sufferings. I am yet to see this child, who seems to show cruelty for no apparent reason, grow up. I am curious to see if he will change. His parents are trying their best to deal with it but have been successful to only a minimal extent. His parents of course are wonderful people, not cruel at all. His teachers, relatives, school are all blameless, at least with regard to the care of this child. So what is driving this child to be so cruel? Is it genetic? Biological ? Need for aggression? I am not sure.


Dealing with society’s ills is another major way of reducing crime in this world. But the task seems overwhelming to me, especially in high population countries with low motivation on parts of their corrupt governments to bring about changes.

I read the times of India daily online and feel deeply saddened and upset by the crimes I read. There seems to be so much cruelty, especially targeting women, children, the lower sections of society, who are the most vulnerable. I keep trying to analyze, what causes these crimes and I do come up with answers but what we need is not answers to the question WHY but solutions about prevention.


Many crimes seem to occur with appalling frequency and it bothers me that the police, the victims, the government do not seem to identify the patterns and take precautions to prevent these crimes.

Some of the crimes I have seen repeatedly and with definite patterns are:


Buildings under construction falling and killing labourers. Why is a study not made of the cause of these under construction building falling and preventive measure taken?


Sexual molestation of school children by the drivers of the vehicles they are travelling in.


Suicides and suicidal attempts by so many groups of persons: 10th standard children, 12th standard children, newly married women( dowry harassment is usually the cause), students in certain courses only , students from certain colleges or universities only, students of certain castes only.


Wives of alcoholics being killed by their husbands as they suspect her of infidelity or these wives commit suicides : It is a well known fact that alcoholics are brain damaged and suffer from alcoholic jealousy, paranoid illness, psychosis; it is also well known that relatives, especially the alcoholic’s relatives believe him and blame the wife for his drinking habits and join hands with the alcoholic in attacking the hapless woman. Yet, these cases are routinely reported in newspapers but no doctor or psychiatrist makes efforts to educate people and support these women. In fact, so many believe that the wife is sleeping around!


Committing suicide due to stomach ache is another repeatedly seen item in the newspapers especially the Deccan Herald! I cannot imagine why people commit suicide for stomach ache, unless ( I am sure it is) it is a cover-up of the real cause of suicide.


Accidents happening at the same spot over and over again and the government does not do anything to find out why accidents happen at that particular place? I remember that the one particular spot i.e. Byatarayanapura on the Hebbal Yelahanka road, which has taken the life of many many people, especially staff and students of the agriculture university, who would be travelling on 2 wheelers between the 2 campus i.e. the Hebbal campus and the GKVK campus.


The recent news is of people being attacked in the nights especially in areas near IT industries for money. Yet, the police and the government do nothing.


Death by gas cylinders bursting, cookers bursting, kerosene stoves bursting, are another set of repeated cause of injury & death. Yet, no one seems to make the efforts to see what caused these accidents to happen. Unless scientific, unbiased and ethical forensic investigations are done, these incidents will continue.





When I talk to people about these, issues, there is such a sense of helplessness. People are no longer even frustrated. They seem to be resigned and accepted these as ‘facts of life’ and simply move on, thanking that it is not of their family or of their loved ones.

The ones who want to fight things like injustice, corruption, crime have to have, endless patience!

 One person I know is a psychiatrist from NIMHANS. He has not given bribes in his life and was able to fight ( I know of one fight only) as he has the most valuable resource, i.e. time! He retired from NIMHANS and had to shift from NIMHANS quarters to his house. He did that and the telephone company had to shift his phone….which they did not do for 6 months as he refused to bribe them !

If one has to wait for 6 months to get a telephone transferred a distance of 3 kilometres, imagine how many fights one has to face to simply live in India…. Life would be one endless nightmare of frustrations, endless waits, not able to do anything as nothing gets done without bribes and other unsavoury machinations.

Birth certificate: Bribe

Visits to government hospitals: bribes ( Victoria hospital is one big nightmare but the poor have no choice)

Getting your driving licence: bribes

Getting into a school even if it is a nursery school for a 3 year old: Donations, running into lakhs of rupees.

Getting into a college: Donations (no receipts for these donations at school or college)

Getting a government job: You need ‘influence’ and give bribes or you need to belong to the reserved category to have a chance of getting the job. I have seen a cousin of mine, work without pay for two years at a school, in my village in order to be made, ‘permanent’. I am not sure he is getting paid or not, now, after many years or if he is working at a low salary.

If you are building a house, then, it is better you keep several lakh rupees for bribing people in the government for various processes such as registrations of the site, transfer of the site, getting electricity connection, water connection, sewage, etc.

It has become impossible for the common man to do anything dealing with the govt without giving a bribe.


My fingers are aching now. I will continue later! I am sure there are a million other places, where you have to give bribes. But these are the only ones I or my family have had experience of giving bribes or not getting the work done for refusing to give. My sister refused to pay for getting her birth certificate and she did not get it even after 2 visits!

I do not  own a site or house in Bangalore as I simply cannot go through the process of bribing and on top of everything, being ‘humble’, ‘polite’, ‘ingratiating’ to the guys I bribe. As you already know, if one is rude or curt, your work is not done, even if you have given the bribe ! You have to act ‘humble’, ‘grateful’, ‘sweet’, and then your work gets done ! I simply cannot go through that torture….especially after bribing! Once I bribe, I want to give the guy a piece of my mind, yell at him, humiliate him……Not humbly thank him with gratitude !

Another problem is that as I am a female, the guys do not ask for bribe but simply refuse to do the job. I think, if I was a male, they would quickly and clearly tell the amount and the work gets done. That is another thing with these guys ! They seem to be ashamed to ask a lady for a bribe, but will still not do it without a bribe ! ( I think they fear that men will start sending their wives to get the work done, if they do it …for women, without a bribe!) I know, that there are many women employees in government, but I have not encountered them. From, what I have heard, they too take bribes. Probably, they have no escape, as they have to pass, a part of the cut to their superiors.


Each time, I heard of someone in my family struggling to get a job (…where they have to interact with a government run office)done and then getting it done, only after bribing, I curse  the person who took the bribe….my curse is so vile, I don’t want to write it here, but then, my frustration is so severe! Even if my family are resigned and accept bribing as inevitable, I suffer with such severe frustration and impotent rage, that it affects my mental health!


Considering that the terrible inflation in India and the peanuts, my family and many other families are getting in pensions and salaries, how can these vile  government servants demand money from these already tightly stretched people?

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